biohybrid: (Default)
I been mulling over many things in my mind...but the reasoning of why I'm single eludes me. I've came up with a few ideas but I don't know if they all on point or just my imaginings.



1) Looks- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, indeed. I am 6 feet tall and about 290 lbs. I know that classifies me as overweight or obese but certainly there must one or two people who would hardly care. I know I am not the best looking man in the world but certainly this world cannot be completely shallow.

2) Rashness- As I mentioned previously in my note "Necessary Steps", I tend to rush into things and often miss crucial details. I run headlong into many things which I am certain is off-putting to many of the fairer sex.

3) Heart on the sleeve- To put it bluntly, I could talk to a girl one day and then the next day say the three magic words out of feelings alone.

4) Fear- As I mentioned in my note aptly named "Fear" I am afraid of being hurt so I don't try. The mind and the heart are separate entities...with my mind saying, "don't do it", and my heart saying, "GO FOR IT!" Most of the time, the mind prevails...

5) Self-defeating- This is only a theory by most psychiatric minds but they are developing a disorder known as self-defeating personality disorder. Basically, whenever I find someone that would under normal circumstances be defined as a "keeper", something in my head says "screw it up". Its impulsive and not controlled.



I am sure there could be a few moments but my mind is clouded at the moment. This writing may be updated eventually but time will tell. Certainly there must be a girl who can identify with me but as of now, I've yet to find her. Perhaps its my fate to walk alone and if it is, I will accept it...but I will NOT go down without a fight.



Until next time
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